Carolyn hax dating
Seeing the problem for what it is also means you’ll voice more trenchant concerns when your finger slips off the mute button — and you’ll be less likely (98 percent versus 99) to put your brother on the defensive.
Don’t trash her, for example, if you think he’s acting too desperate; ask why he’s in such a big rush.
My mom is just crushed that this girl will likely marry my brother.
I think if he thinks she is so great then let him make this HUGE mistake.
Is it OK to just go out there and — safely, when time permits — have a good time?
Otherwise, you need to look for, recognize and understand what that “something” is.
Either the roof will fall in or it won’t — but both outcomes warrant a round of applause, just for busting you out of a rut that has you using terms like “very demanding emotionally.” You need to be you, she needs to be needy, and it’s time you both figured out whether you can be these things bearably together. We pluck people out of the crowd because they satisfy some inner requirement in us.
No friend or mate or family member is ever perfect, though, and not every requirement is healthy, so there’s always some dealmaking involved; getting anything you want always costs something else.
If your brother does marry this girl, cry, de-smudge, then adapt: Try to see what he sees in her, and, when that fails, be discreet when you get up to flee.
I’m a 45-year-old divorced mom of two boys (10 and 7).